Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Joanna : dilys's computer has got some problem, thats why i`m here blogging on her behalf. if you have any comments, please tagg of sms her.
I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE ! thats why i went to the extent of writing this down, so jOs.` can blog for me. (thanks jOs.` ! you're such a darling. -angelic grinn from jOs.` ) argh. this is targetted at one particular person. A male, to be specific. but the name will not be disclosed. wells, i don`t think this person even bothers to read my blog now ( after the 14 march incident). but i`m taking a chance anyways.
LISTEN UP. you sounded as though this whole thing is my fault, and i am the one entirely responsible. you said she`s quite angry ! and told me to just forget about it. hello? as if i wasn`t angry ! you didn`t bother to think about how i feel. you just assumed everything ( shouldn`t upper sec humans student know that its wrong to make assumptions without any facts to support ?) and i totally don`t see why this is my fault. She claimed that i showed her attitude. As far as I`m concerned, i remember i tried to make it a point to be friendly to her! but i apologised. cause i really don`t wanna make things ugly. even my schoool-friends said i shouldn`t, ( jOs.` : yea. and i think we were right ! ) cause they know i`m not the kind who will show people "attitude-and-whatever-you-name-it". i don`t know what she told you. all i know is that i THOUGHT you knew what kind of person i am. and i THOUGHT you will stand on my side even if no ones believes me. but when i told you i apologised, you took it for granted. i guess i was wrong about you. you really disappointed me. i don`t know whether you will read it. but i`ve said my piece.
~ i`ve got so many questions, yet no answers.
was i wrong to think he`s a nice guy?
was i wrong to have apologised?
why is it that when you think that person is someone you can count on, he or she turns his/her back on you when you need him/her? why is it some people just love to tear your heart into pieces?
why do people always assume that i am strong to face all the challenges?
why don`t people bother to find out about how you feel?
why can`t he be his old self?
how can i change my perpspective about him?
how can i learn to trust again?
why can`t i get him out of my mind?
you know. i love what derrick quoted from cmder wen kang: there are no problems in life. only challengers. and I`m not strong enough to face these challenges. yet i won`t be defeated by them. cause I am dilys. and i have God. who do you think you are to be able to make me fall? but i won`t be. cause i have God's strength. even if no ones believe me, i know God does. cause my conscience is clear before him.
~ cant believe that i`m the fool again, i thought this love would never end, how was i to know, you never told me.
(message from jOs.` to you-know-who )
ps: please stop talking crap to weixun ! thanks. =))
5:05 PM
Friday, April 01, 2005
i'm finally back
hi! i'm back to revive my blog!!! hahas..
miss me right..aww..thanks..
i was banned from the internet again..not an unusual situation..hahas..
anyways.so much happened.so much is coming my way.but u know what? i'm clinging on to God still.yeps.i know He's there for me.
one thing i dont understand: why is it that relationships can influence a person's thinking so much? why will one give up on friendship for bgr? is it worth the sacrifice? relationships can really make one bitter..but why harbour so much bitterness in ur heart? u not only make urself feel terrible, u make people around u feel terrible too..
i dont know whether u still visit my blog..but.yahs..if u do, this is for u.i've been praying so hard for u.even fasting.i know God wants to do a work in ur life.i can see it.but ure reluctant to let Him do so.i see that ure hurting.but i dont wanna tell u.i want u to hear it from God urself.many things in ur life need to be changed by God.but convictions come directly from God.no middleman needed.so i'm still praying u'll hear Him.and.learn to let go.ure holding on to too many things u think are precious to u.but u havent consulted God.are those things what He wants u to hold on to? really praying that God will shake ur nest.to a point whereby u will really fall on ur knees and cry out to God.and it's gonna happen very soon.i dont wanna witness it though.it's gonna hurt u.and i cant bear to watch it.but.still, i want it to happen.perhaps u no longer visit my blog.but i've said what i want to.
thats all.take care all of u.i love u.cos God's love is overflowing in my heart.=)
2:40 PM
