Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Joanna : dilys's computer has got some problem, thats why i`m here blogging on her behalf. if you have any comments, please tagg of sms her.
I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE ! thats why i went to the extent of writing this down, so jOs.` can blog for me. (thanks jOs.` ! you're such a darling. -angelic grinn from jOs.` ) argh. this is targetted at one particular person. A male, to be specific. but the name will not be disclosed. wells, i don`t think this person even bothers to read my blog now ( after the 14 march incident). but i`m taking a chance anyways.
LISTEN UP. you sounded as though this whole thing is my fault, and i am the one entirely responsible. you said she`s quite angry ! and told me to just forget about it. hello? as if i wasn`t angry ! you didn`t bother to think about how i feel. you just assumed everything ( shouldn`t upper sec humans student know that its wrong to make assumptions without any facts to support ?) and i totally don`t see why this is my fault. She claimed that i showed her attitude. As far as I`m concerned, i remember i tried to make it a point to be friendly to her! but i apologised. cause i really don`t wanna make things ugly. even my schoool-friends said i shouldn`t, ( jOs.` : yea. and i think we were right ! ) cause they know i`m not the kind who will show people "attitude-and-whatever-you-name-it". i don`t know what she told you. all i know is that i THOUGHT you knew what kind of person i am. and i THOUGHT you will stand on my side even if no ones believes me. but when i told you i apologised, you took it for granted. i guess i was wrong about you. you really disappointed me. i don`t know whether you will read it. but i`ve said my piece.
~ i`ve got so many questions, yet no answers.
was i wrong to think he`s a nice guy?
was i wrong to have apologised?
why is it that when you think that person is someone you can count on, he or she turns his/her back on you when you need him/her? why is it some people just love to tear your heart into pieces?
why do people always assume that i am strong to face all the challenges?
why don`t people bother to find out about how you feel?
why can`t he be his old self?
how can i change my perpspective about him?
how can i learn to trust again?
why can`t i get him out of my mind?
you know. i love what derrick quoted from cmder wen kang: there are no problems in life. only challengers. and I`m not strong enough to face these challenges. yet i won`t be defeated by them. cause I am dilys. and i have God. who do you think you are to be able to make me fall? but i won`t be. cause i have God's strength. even if no ones believe me, i know God does. cause my conscience is clear before him.
~ cant believe that i`m the fool again, i thought this love would never end, how was i to know, you never told me.
(message from jOs.` to you-know-who )
ps: please stop talking crap to weixun ! thanks. =))
5:05 PM
