after reading qian xiang's blog, i realised i forgot to talk about what chang xiang said.
haha.
we were crapping at the void deck on friday night, eating pizzas.
then joel said he was godzilla or something.
then chang xiang went," if you're godzilla, i'm ultraman!"
paula,who was pretty quiet all along cause she was playing games said,
"DID U JUST SAY YOU'RE ULTRAMAN?!?! DID U JUST SAY THAT?!?!"
and we all started laughing.
and kept doing the ultraman action.
super funny.
haha.

anyway,
i feel loved.
really.
cause people msged me to encourage me for today's papers.=)
(by order who msged me first.)
caleb,laura,jovin,geraldine,lihui,zhao long,cecelia and zihui.
so sweet hor =)

gonna watch movie later.
haha.
with my bro, mel and lynn.
if mel pang sehs, so will i.
haha.

JESUS IS LOVE.


i cant stop giggling.
super cute lah.
my dad cutting nails for my mum.
she doesnt know how to cut her nails properly.
hahaha.
no lah.
it's just that, my dad can cut nails really well.
(now that sounds.funny.)

each time i think of the word "cry",
i feel so sick.
i feel so weak.
as in, literally.
i feel like my energy's being drained off.
i really dont wanna lose a friend like that.
it's totally dumb lah.
and you'd rather be hostile then point out the problem.
it's torturous ok.
seriously, i HAVE to settle this.
sooner or later.
because.i wont expect myself to lead prayer meeting when i'm not in the right condition.
thats hypocrisy.
i cant bring myself to do it.
what do u want?

but still.
i wont stop praising JESUS.
i love YOU.
and i will love everyone around me.
cause YOU first loved me.
and who am i,
not to love your creations?


God's oh-so-faithful.
whatever i'm going through,
i'm clinging on to God for strength.
yea.
thursday prayer meeting,
i was super life-less.
so many people could tell.
friday,
after getting back my results,
i just cried and cried non-stop.
cause so much is happening at once.
but God's presence is so real.
and PRAISE GOD!
i'm promoted to 4E2 next year!
i love e2 too much.
i cant leave them.=)

CHANG XIANG'S ULTRAMAN!
hahahahahahahaha.
hg2 was mad yesterday lah.
we sat at jean's void deck.
eating pizzas and laughing and having tons lof fun.
AT TEN PLUS AT NIGHT!
we left at around 11.
i totally love hg2.

and know what?
dilys is productive today.
(NOT in THAT sense.u sickos.haha.)
i cleaned up my room today!
it's super duper neat!
(my side of the room is.)
so clean.
i spent THREE HOURS ok.

JESUS i love YOU like CRAZY!
i was so happy,
i started dancing.
YES, FAIRY!! i can dance!!!!! hahaha.
the Spirit led me to!
praise God!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAILEONG!
the chances of u reading this is nil.
haha.
but it's evidence i wished u happy birthday.
haha.


i know this sounds dumb.
but i'm crying as i'm typing.
i dont know why.
pms?
i dont know.
all i know is,i'm tired.
with all thats taking place around me.
u get this clear.
i wasnt trying to pick a fight with you.
i'm already trying very hard to be nice.
what else do u want from me?
i really cant take it anymore.
u dont know whats going on in my life right now.
and u cant be bothered.
why am i trying so hard when u're not even trying?
is it so much of my fault?
there's only so much i can take.
dont stretch me.
i'm already suffocating.
i'm really sick of it.
really.
just tell me what u want.


daddy allows me to work.

i'm praying i'll get promoted to 4E2.
Lord.
please.
only You can make it happen.
and i choose to trust in You.

i dont know how to be a good friend.
i dont know whats your definition of friend.
i dont know what u expect from me.
i dont know why u refused to budge.
i've taken the first step.
i've done all i could.
after so much has happened,
i'm numb.
i just dont wanna have anyone mad at me,
anyone regarding me as an enemy.
thats all i request.
if you're still upset with me,
i really have no idea what to do anymore.
all i want you to know is,
you're my brother in christ,
and i love you, cause He first loved me.


i did badly for end of year.
but i'll praise God still.
need to take supplementary test for chem.
failed too badly.
haha.
i know i shouldnt be laughing,
but i cant stop rejoicing in Him.
i'll work a whole lot harder next year.
i give anyone the right to slap me if they think i'm not working hard enough.
hahaha.
not really slap, maybe scold or something.
but ya, something that will wake me up.

hmmm.
ps rachel said i can work in church.
but now yining got me a place in her office.
office work.
$6/hour.
9 to 6
novena.
i was thinking the deal is not bad.
if my dad allows, i'll take up the offer.
if not, work in church.and lihui will take over my place.
i calculated lor.
hahaha.
one day $54.
one week $270.
one month $1080.
2 months $2160.
but i not working full two months, so it's somewhere around that amount.
though partly it's for the money, it's more of the experience i want.

praise God.
i cant stop praising YOU my King.
you're all i want.
and my life is all Yours and Yours alone.
i'm trusting You in everything.


everything's gone.
but i'll retype.

basically,
i feel great.
cause i did what God told me to.

i'll trust Him in my results.
it's for my good.

i love my family.

I'LL NEVER STOP LOVING HIM.


i was so touched by what was written by my cell group yesterday.
i AM beautiful ok.
hahaha.
cause i'm God's child.

i'm learning to forgive.
i love you all.=)


i'm feeling tired.
as in,
really tired.
not physically.
but all the things that are happening,
they are really taking a toll on me.
i wanna forgive.
but i'm so sick of it.
it's like,
if a person keeps apologising to you,
yet continues hurting you,
for a freaking zillion times,
wont u get sick of it?
i am.
i really am.
but i'll learn,
because who am i not to forgive?
since God is so forgiving,
though i always do things that hurt Him?
i dont deserve His grace,
yet He's so gracious to me.
i'll learn to do the same.
because i wanna live a life like HIS.

i want real care, real concern, real friendship.
not doing it to patronise me.
what is REAL in these days?
besides God.

i need Your love.
to overflow in my heart.
i'm trusting You,
to stay in e2.
i love you Lord.


the last post was deleted.
if u havent seen it,too bad.
i really cant be bothered.
but i'll keep praying.
REAL HARD.

exams are over!
~whee!
praise GOD!

i thank God for wonderful parents.
love them to pieces.
just,feeling thankful for them.

trust
trust in the Lord
lean not on your own understanding
in all
all of your ways
acknowledge Him
He'll make your paths straight

praise GOD!
today's prayer group in school went well.
God's covering =)

i love u Lord.



was talking to el.
and we really talked.
God's so amazing.
HE's forever so forgiving.
and for that i cant stop loving Him.
neither can i stop proclaiming His name.
nor stop praising Him.
and His presence is so real right now.
reminding me how wonderful He has been,
is, and will be.
after this post, i'm just gonna start praising Him.=)

i've got a new roxy bag.haha.
cousin bought it.
as in, from my mother's side.

God's so so so real.
yesterday when we were singing "here i am to worship",
His presence was so awesome,
i had to kneel.
i couldnt stand.
i just had to kneel before Him in wonder and awe of His beauty.
then i stood up.
and after a while,
we were encouraged to kneel down.
and i did again.
it's like, He's so glorious.
i could feel His holiness in that place.
so strong, like never before.

it comes back to haunt me every now and then,
and i feel i've grown accustomed to it.
but NO!
this will not happen.
cause i'm a child of God.
nothing will bind me.
cause i'm so beloved by Him!

haha.yesterday i broke record.
i laughed for super long.
and while i was drinking, i laughed.
and yes, water came put of my mouth.
sorry everyone! haha.
not my fault.jon and joel were too funny.
and now i've got a new nickname by jon.
watercooler -.-

EMATH P2, PHYSICS, AMATH.
God will see me through.

i cant stop praising you,
for you are my God.
you're just so marvellous,
glorious.

i love you.
forever.
no matter what happens.
no matter what comes my way.
=)


i died on the spot when i received chem paper.
i wanna drop chem!
yet at the same time, i dont wanna drop.
(pride issues)
oh well, it's in HIS hands.

went down to Bethel.
God's so amazing lah.
i didnt tell twiny eileen that i'm going.
but she went too!haha.
i studied for a while,
then went audi.
martin, isaac, jon wee, edward, caleb and daryl were there.
and elim and xavier (do i spell his name this way?)
they're from eileen's church.
elim used to be from bethel, xavier used to be from new creation.
elim's so anointed.she prayed for me.
and God's presence was so so real.
i could literally feel it.
i felt Him holding me so close to Him.
and u know what?
i have JOY!
oh my gosh lah.
she's going through the same thing as me.
God's so amazing.
i believe it's not by coincidence i went church today.
God PLANNED it.
i cant stop praising HIM!

i will sing with new joy in my heart
i'll rejoice
in your love
i will dance all my burdens away
in the presence of the Lord!

haha.talked to liming.this guy from my pri school.
so cute lah he.suddenly talked to me.
cause he said my picture shocked him.-.-
whatever.hahaha.

it's in God's hands.
cause i've surrendered it.





ss and bio papers today.
i managed to crap my way through ss.
cause we received tips from e3.
bio was ok.
as in, alot of give-away questions lor.
so dumb.
hahahaha.
praise HIM.

another thing to praise God for.
my parents were initially not going for church camp.
God told me He'll make a way.
my parents have been praying too.
and you know what?
GOD DID MAKE A WAY.=)
amen.
this family camp is really a family camp.
my darling dad,mum and bro are going,
my er gu, her husband and in-law are going,
my san gu,uncle david,luana and ivana are going,
xide's going,
and my aunt sandra just called.
she,uncle ben,cheryl and kirk are probably going too.
and the best thing is,
she isn't a christian.YET.
i have faith,that she,and uncle ben will receive Christ.
praise God.
seventeen people from my family going church camp.
hahahahahahahahaha.
God is so great.

and i'm in awe of God's wisdom.
"God? how did u create our bodies in such a marvellous way? u're way way smart.everything is so perfectly organised.no one can do it in such a marvellous way like u did."
and, i'm in awe of God's beautiful creation
"haha.you made me so beautiful, you must have put in lots of effort.thank you! i'm beautiful, cause you're my Daddy."-beams-

shucks.
tomorrow's chem and geog.
i'm prepared to fail chem.
lots of people are.
hahaha.
by God's grace,
i will pass.
hahahaha.

i've done my part,
continuing to treat u as a friend.
whatever encouragements i send to my friends,
i send them to u.
it's up to u to salvage it.
i'm tired.
i really am.


praise God!
i have a testimony, thats why i'm blogging though i have papers tomorrow.
i had my chinese papers on monday and tuesday.
paper one was so-so.
i had stuff to write,thank God.
i managed to write more than 450 words for compo.
for letter-writing, i chose to write a speech.
and praise God, i managed to write one and half pages.
though there's no word limit.
but it's always good to write more.
haha.
makes u look pro.
(does it?)
anyway.the real testimony is this:
it's the first time i'm taking hmt paper in the new format.
so i was thinking 2 hours very long,
then i happily took my own sweet time to do.
and i was left with 15 min to complete 3 questions (5marks, 6marks, 6marks) and 1 summary(20marks).
i usually take 3-5 min to complete one question, cause it's super long.and 15 min to complete summary.
i was halfway through the last third question,
so i was thinking, after i complete this question, i should just complete the other two, and forfeit the summary.
but thats so dumb! cause summary is TWENTY marks!
so then i did summary.
i took only 5 min!
when i looked at the clock, i was left with around 5 min to complete the rest.
so then i was thinking,"one of the 6 marks will be gone."
but u know what?
i completed everything.
i even had time to flip through my papers to make sure all questions were attempted.
praise God!

i just read my twin's blog.
and know what?
i learnt a new term.
wave offering.
i have it too! haha.
=)
thank you Lord.

biology and ss tomorrow.
i'm planning either to take a nap now,
and chiong all the way,
or to chiong all the way.
hmmm.i shall chiong all the way.
take a nap tomorrow afternoon,
and chiong all the way again.
can one.=)
like what caleb said
"study FOR GOD."
i can do it.
for HIM.
God,i mean.=)


REUBEN FOO MAO QIANG!!!

haha.obviously it's fake.
cause -this guy- kept asking me to go study.
so then i couldnt stand it,
i asked caleb to pose as my boyfriend.
but he replied too slow,
so reuben helped me.
hahaha.
so now i call him boyfriend, and he calls me girlfriend.
cool huh?
hahaha.
`so dumb

know what??
u know this ming xing ou xiang (read:star idol -- literal translation)
after audition, 10 guys and 10 girls chosen.
my cousin KOH BEN HUI is one of the guys.
now left with 9. not bad right!!!
hahaha.
i told u i've got good genes.
-winks-

tata.gotta go study.
JIAYOU!
i know everyone ending papers soon,
except bowenians.
but.
it's OKAY.
i will praise God for it.

i'm loving HIM more and more.
HIM= JESUS.
who else? =)


went to jean's house last night.
studied.talked.
and.
watched Pride.
he's SO shuai! hahaha.

meeting serene in heartland later to talk.
then going palm grove to study.
she's so sweet right.
come all the way down to meet me,
cause it's convenient for me.
love her to bits.

i've had enough.
you always have reasonings for whatever you do.
please.
spare a thought for others.
"friends" is not just a word.
it's actions.
friends dont do this to each other.
enough is enough.
period.
u wont understand what i went through,
u never will.
it's been a mistake since the beginning.

-of all the things i've lost,i miss my mind the most-


one sms totally spoilt my mood.
sorry.
and it's my exam period.
thanks.
a whole lot.


english was t-o-u-g-h
i've never complained about any english papers before.
but today's was tough.
i dont wanna fail my paper!!!!!!

oh well.
but i wrote 3 poems after completing my compo.

THE MARVELLOUS PLANNER
trusting Him is not easy,
yet it makes me feel at ease.
i plan and plan my own calender,
and a NO from Him crushes them altogether.
i've seen consequences of acting smart,
and realise sheepishly His will never parts.
i learnt to always consult Him,
instead of acting as my own King.
so i choose to trust in my great planner,
whose plans for me will so shimmer.

THANKSGIVING
thank You Lord for dying for me,
thank You Lord for saving me.
thank You Lord for loving me,
thank You Lord for guiding me.
thank You Lord for everything,
i'll never thank You enough for all You did.

FOR HIM
i've never regretted,and never will,
for standing up for my saviour .
call me weirdo,call me freak,
it's all because of my love for Him.
He's stood by me in adversities,
and shown me how much He loves me.
i love Him now, i'll love Him still,
cause no one can replace my heart's king.

haha.that was my 4th,5th and 6th poem this year.
praise God.

need to go off.
wanna go sleep,
then bathe,
and go off already.
hahaha.
studying okay.
yes lihui, i decided to go study.=)

yes,i blocked u again.
u! disrupt my plans.
urgh.


dont you think this year passed really fast?
it's been the most eventful year.
and i've grown.
seen so much.
been through so much.
but it all seem like yesterday when it happened.
oh well.
thats why they say time flies.
and exams are just round the corner.
it's like.
whoa.
so fast.

I FOUND MY BANKBOOK.
praise God.it's like,
i went into the store room all of a sudden.
looking for something (i have no idea what i was looking for.forgot.)
then this unfamiliar paper bag caught my eye.
so i took it down,
and happened to see my bankbook.
God's so amazing.=)

but i still went down to get my atm card done.
the password is such a smart one,
no one will ever guess it.
-winks-

i realised how haggard i look with specs.
hahaha.

must study already.

JIAYOU EVERYONE!
just a bit more to go.
we can do it!
yes we can!
woo hoo!

see what exams do to people?
they just turn crazy.

CHURCH CAMP!
THATS MY MOTIVATION TO DO WELL FOR EXAMS!
i mean, of course God's my motivation.
but i'm really looking forward to church camp.
i CANT wait. =D

*jon, i know your secret.muahahahaha.how about bribing me?


haha.i'm such a peegie.
i slept from 6.30 yesterday to this morning 6.30
woke up in between thrice to reply messages.
i got a such though.
caleb sent me this funny sms.
so funny i cant laugh.
(now,that statement didnt make sense.)

anyway.
my mum lost my bankbook.
say i'm forgetful?
it's inherited from my mum.
BANKBOOK.

i unblocked him, cause he wasnt online
then i blocked again.
wont unblock.trust me.
until we're friends again.
cause we arent friends now.
and i dont make friends with egoistic people.

I DONT LIKE U ANYMORE.
DONT THINK TOO HIGHLY OF YOURSELF.


sunday:
supposed to go for p6, cause i havent visited for a long long time.
it was just a sudden decision.
but praise God!
cecelia needed help, cause it was children's day.
see how God works?
i didnt know cecelia needed helpers,
but i turned up cause i felt like it. (it was probably God.)
it was super fun, looking at the kids having fun.
then there was this little boy who refused to stand up,
refused to talk,
refused to do anything.
cecelia tried talking to him,
it didnt work.
caleb talked to him,
neither did he reply.
so then i slowly talked to him,
and he answered me.
and he cried.softly.
i carried him, (i dont know where i got the strength, but i did.)
and went to look for his brother.
cause he told me he wanted to.
not bad right.
dilys has a way with kids.
hahaha.
i love kids.

before i entered the auditorium,
God told me,
today's altar call will not be for u,
but i will use u to minister to someone.
so throughout the whole thing,
i was superly excited.
and praise God.
He did use me.

i bought violet lenses.
sorry jon,
read your message too late.
it's not to look pretty for someone.
it's for fun.
just trying it out.

i think i've got a problem.
haha.(oops.the "haha" is redundant)
i ate breakfast yesterday,
and didnt eat all the way till today's recess.
and after i ate, felt like vomiting.
and i didnt eat lunch.
except for 5 fishballs.
haha.as in, no proper meals.
dont feel like eating.
dont know why.

jon, GO FOR CHURCH CAMP!!!
we managed to persuade joel to skip his prom to go.
go lah.

i blocked him on msn.
i dont know if he'll know,
cause he might have the program
that will allow him to see who blocked him.
but i dont care.
i just.dont feel like having him in my contact list
for the time being.
dont wanna be tempted to talk to him.

i love JESUS.


quite a lot of unhappy stuff happened since thurs.
BUT YESTERDAY WAS GREAT!
God is so real.
He told me to read pg 712 of my study Bible.
it's on psalms 55.
when i opened edwj,
the text was on ps 55.
when i opened my precious moments Bible,
there's a bookmark on ps 55 too!
how marvelous is He! =)
was really encouraged.

went to joel's house to study.
caleb,daryl,alfred and jean were around too.
i was so hungry,
i cooked maggi mee.
and i was nice enough to cook for caleb.
hahaha.

God spoke to me..
about my future.
i'm still in a state of shock,
and find this whole thing so amusing.
hahaha.
i only told jean.
so paiseh can.

*jon.go for church camp.
i'm sure u'll have a great experience with God.
go lahs.
confirm fun one.
cause i'll be around.
hahahaha.

*daryl.dont know if u'll read this,
but.choose fender.
thats what i think lahs.
since that was really what u wanted since p5.
dw.can save up already then buy.thats what i think lahs.
it's your own decision.=)

RANGERS.COA.HERE I COME!!!!
i'm leading parade today.
hahahaha.
i can do it!
pizza pizza.
making pizza.
party party
having party.
who says children's day is for children?

p/s. i'm gonna do something crazy after exams!
dad doesnt allow me to dye hair, so i wont.
but he has got this shampoo thing.
that kind of colours your hair.temporarily.
i'm gonna use it! haha.and i'm buying coloured lenses!
should i get hazel, violet or blue????

princessDILYS.
CHRISTIAN.
pinkredpurple.
princessbelle.
Bethel.
chelmin.
cherie c.
cherie w.
elhannah.
geraldine.
hadley.
hg2t.
jon wee.
joshua.
lebbillie.
pearleen.
ruth.
serene.
shawn.

Bowen.
cailing.
chrislynn.
eugenia.
gwen.
jean.
jiaxing.
joanna.
lihui.
mishal.
shiwei.
sijie.

SRJC.
candy.
cherryl.
jiahui.
jacyln.
jiawen.
kaiqing.
regina.
yeapjun

Rangers.
brendan.
cheryl.
gabriel.
gabrielle.
jamin.
jinghan.
kerrie.
lester.
rangers.


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